Saturday, February 19, 2011

Truth Day Eight: One Bad Apple





Well would you look at where Day 8 of this challenge is taking me?  Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.


Wow!  I could take you down so many roads but I'll stick with the most prominent of them all...my obsessive ex-boyfriend.  We'll call him "David" (obviously not his real name).  There are the selected few that know about him, but others don't, which makes for the perfect blog for this topic.


I'll start from the beginning...


At the age of 12, I saw this guy and thought he was cute.  The epitome of tall, dark and handsome and I was all in!  I found out that he lived down the block from me and proceeded to take matters into my own hands.  I started to walk pass his house just so he could see me.  During my walk-by's, my friend at the time told me to talk to him but I was too afraid.  One day, he saw me and came out.  Panic took over me and if I'm not mistaken, ran. (LOL-we got a runner!)  After that, he finally caught me, I found my nerve and we talked; all the while denying that I was coming by to see him so that he can see me (I'm not doing that.  I have no idea what you're talking about!!).  Thereafter, he started to ALWAYS be around and I suddenly felt uneasy.  Something was wrong with this picture.  I indeed had a crush on him but something was definitely NOT right about him.


Something inside told me to leave him alone, so I listened. 


Everyday, I saw him.  He would give me expensive gifts (his family was wealthy) and it was starting to get on my nerves. Feeling as if he was trying to "buy" me or something.  Then, the inevitable happened...everyone started to like him.  Why??  It wasn't getting through to me!  I was alone in my feelings of seeing something that no one else did.  I was the crazy one!!


When I got to high school, he became overbearing.  He wouldn't leave me alone.  He asked me out everyday of every minute of every month of every year.  People around me, including my mother, were ALL like broken records...give him a chance...they said over and over again, but I wouldn't budge!  So, I gave him a chance.  A small one.  I recall an incident on Valentine's Day when he gave me a gift.  It was a big box and I was a bit excited.  When I opened it, I just blankly stared at it.  It was a 50 pound chocolate bar that he had got custom made just for me.  Now you all know I'm not big on chocolate so this gift was in no way acceptable to me.  My mother screamed at me for being ungrateful, but...a 50 POUND CHOCOLATE BAR??  Come on!!!  While dating him briefly, I found out he was seeing other women, so I broke up with him, but then got back together with him.  Again, constant badgering.  


I had went into the Air Force thereafter but didn't last through basic training and returned suddenly.   My mother was all over the place and I didn't really have anywhere to go.  He suggested I move in with him, but it didn't set well with me, so I moved into my Uncle's house.  As much as I love my family, it did not work out.  So, I moved in with "David."  BAD MOVE!  He was already living with his brother and sister, so how in the hell are we supposed to have any privacy??  When I got there, we slept on the living room couch or the floor.  Oh joy!!  Out of the frying pan and directly into to hell without collecting $200!! SMH


Now...he was already obsessed with me but it got out of control when I moved in.  He wanted to control every move I made.  Wanted to know EXACTLY where I was at all times.  Tried keeping me from my friends and family.  Wanted me to quit my job and sit at him awaiting his return from work.  He became verbally abusive!  I was in a living nightmare, but I had no where to go, so I endured all of this with a grain of salt...living in fear of my life.  


It become crystal clear when I couldn't wake up from a dream I was having (half sleep, half awake, my heart racing and screaming).  A blood soaked dream that I later found out was a dictation of the life I was living with him and NEEDED to get out.  


I had only been there for six months and felt as if I had been there for six years!!  And what makes matters worse is that he wouldn't let me go without a fight.  He pushed me out the door one day because we had gotten into an argument and I wanted to leave.  He wouldn't let me get my money and blocked the doorway; preventing me from entering. When he finally let me in, I grabbed my purse and tried to run out the door and he blocked me again.


I eventually left him completely and that's when he began to stalk me.  Once incident I recall...I was sleeping over a friends' house and he appeared at her door; knocking like a maniac.  I refused to see him.  He wouldn't let up and even had a friend involved to get me.  To avoid anymore confrontation at my friend's home, I accepted to speak and that's when he pushed me in the car, in my pajamas, and drove off!  This is called...KIDNAPPING!  Once we got to his apartment, his whole persona changed, explained how much he loves me and how much he wanted me to be like his mother (housewife with no dreams but to take care of family) and asked me to marry him.   I told him flat out no and told him that I wasn't in love with him that I was too young and had dreams to fulfill.  You know what he said to me???  That I wasn't good enough; wasn't worthy of success!  Wow!  Is that how someone that loves you is suppose to treat you??  


Thereafter, I moved to Brooklyn to get him off my scent.  Then moved to Harlem and never saw him again.  TODAY...I still look behind me and at cars hoping and praying that day will never come where we would cross paths again.  


Yea...I've endured other unnecessary pain from others, but nothing compared to what I went through with this man.   I mean, what do you think would have happened if I wasn't strong enough to understand that I needed to leave?  That it wasn't LOVE he was giving me?  I don't know.  Not something I want to think about...I'm just happy I made the choice I made and am living the life I am now. 

4 comments:

Brother Oddi-C said...

Wow Caprice... I'm glad you had the mental fortitude to get out of that "relationship" before it progressed any further.

Caprice Starbrite said...

Thank you Brother Oddi-C! :) I attribute it all to my stubbornness

ABoyd378 said...

I am Very Proud of You seeing him for who he REALLY was. And to have the Strength to Exit Stage Left, tells me that you KNEW that he was Bad for your Spirit.

*BIG HUGS*

Caprice Starbrite said...

thank you Drew Drew :)