Monday, February 7, 2011

Day One: Invading Thoughts...CHECK PLEASE!






When I was given this 30 Day Truth challenge, I felt as if it would be easy breezey! That I'd be flying through these posts at lightening speed while I multi-task through my music and designs.  WEEEEEEEEEEE...wait...did you see that?  *at the STOP sign blankly staring out into space* 


Okay, I'm back.  

Sitting here on Day One of this challenge, trying to figure out something I hate about myself left me in a struggle.  A ka-trillion thoughts in my head like a 3 year old running around in a circle and it hit me...Invading Thoughts!!  FUCKERS!!  SMH at myself...


Here I go...


First let me say, I KNOW that we all let our thoughts consume us in some form or fashion, but if you could sit behind the double mirror of my mind and watch the thoughts conversing, screaming at one another, I'm sure you would check yourself into an institution and request TWO straight jackets and 5 shots a day to stay in an induced state of unknowingness!  *NURSE...where's my medication!?*  It is deep rooted, controlling, uncontrollable (sometimes) and downright annoying!!  I consistently, grab my own shoulders and shake myself silly to free myself from the menagerie of thoughts taking refuge or have a one on one session with myself in the mirror!  *Tell me Starr, how do you feel?*


I toss and turn night after night, day after day, whilst my thoughts lead me down unbeaten paths, bad and good, but through it all I've learned that it has helped me in some way to find some solitude.   I mean, don't you have to think things through to come to a better conclusion??  Maybe over and under thinking is a bit too much, but hey, I am a work in progress and can only grow from this point on...


So, maybe disliking this part of myself versus "hating" is not all that bad after all...



4 comments:

Butterfly Effect said...

Over thinking can just drain the life out of you. Believe me I know. Embracing your over thinking trait is a nice approach, though. Self love even in spite of driving yourself crazy is the way to go. I feel you.

Brother Odd said...

I think we're like Kindred siblings with this one. My mind stays active with all sorts of thoughts 25/7/365. Sometimes i wish there was a snooze button for an over active brain

Caprice Starbrite said...

Yes Joy Joy! Very draining but my strength keeps me through. It's a rollercoaster, but I'm built for the ride!

@ Brother Odd! Thanks for coming through and reading! :) When you get that snooze button, could you Fed Ex it to me please?? And make sure it's longer than 10 minutes. ;-)

Thee_Kween said...

Well chile...scoot over. LOL I so feel the tossing and turning. HELL, I'm up NOW @2:44am like I have the right to be. It's borderline sure-fire agony. I just try to adapt it into my personality. I call it the "artist" in me. LOL

~waving at your mind~