ALL AABOOOOOOOOARD!! THE STARBRITE EXPRESS will be departing in T minus 12 hours! Destination…2011!
As 2010 ends, I really don’t want to look back on what I didn’t have or live on the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” aspect of it all! I have FINALLY been able to see things clearly; FINALLY seeing LIFE for what it truly is: patience, love and determination! It is my end of a bittersweet decade and the beginning of new opportunities that will be conquered (because I said so)!
I’ve made a lot of mistakes this year…cried a lot of tears…drank too much…fallen in and out of depression; but did it all with a STARBRITE smile! I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I wasn’t resilient enough to get through my hardships (and I’m too stubborn to boot to let it completely break me down) and see the bigger picture; being able to admit to myself that if I want it, I should get it and it will come to fruition if you I go HARD and GRAB that sucka!!
Please know that in my present state of Bipolarism, I am “faulty,” not broken and do not need 24 hour surveillance for fear of what I might do to myself or what might happen to me (can someone say FBI, illuminati??)! I am transforming from a caterpillar to a butterfly; basking in the glow of my own sunshine and I have to say...THANK YOU…to myself for not giving up! Always thanking the LORD for all my blessings (this goes without saying, but I will say it)!!
For the past couple years, I have not made no resolutions! Maybe I should have…maybe not, but I believe going through what I’ve gone through in 2010, the path I am currently on is a life-long resolution without the resolution! All I ask for is…to be able to remain on the existing path that I’ve created for myself; remain focused; remain battling the fight; mixed with positivity, determination, grinding the good grind, receive and give unconditional lovin' with lots of happiness and laughter as an added ingredient (damn, I’m always thinking up a recipe, ain’t I?-LOL) Simply put…I want to revel in a plethora of blessings filled with no more stress, no more tears (well a little, I gotta get it out somehow) and no worries! This will be a welcoming introduction to my already bruised soul and my arms are wide open to embrace it!
In the 2 to the 10, I’ve come across some beautiful people and want to give them a big ole hug of gratitude for being in my corner and believing in my dreams as much as I do! I’ve had a lot of tears, laughter, anger and happiness (a little bipolar, I know, but that’s why you like me, right/) and wouldn’t have it any other way! I have already forgiven myself for taking myself through unnecessary emotions...situations, but are they REALLY unnecssary?? Of course they aren’t! They’re mine and mine alone and I have the right to feel what I feel and see ME for who I really am! (I think someone needs to call the doctor, someone forgot to take her meds)
MY BEST “LOOK BACK” FOR 2010: Being surprised for my 42nd birthday by Celeste Cannata and Chante Ramsey with an amazingly fun filled weekend (best birthday EVA); finally meeting Julian from “Julian’s Ride” and seeing him perform at BB King’s; hanging with my SISTAHS; PRINCE “LIVE” (I need NOT say anymore about the Purple Majesty…you already know); the establishment of “C. Starr Designs”; being the first “muse” for Joy Lauriette Baker-Southall’s make-up artistry; modeling and grinding with Pastry Chef Danielle Moore!
But the favorite-tis of 2010 was receiving unconditional LOVE from: Chante Ramsey; Andrew Boyd; Dennis Sloane; Kali Monroe; Danielle Moore; Celeste Cannata, my mom Sharlene Davis; Joy Lauriette Baker-Southall; Rachael Samuel; N'Tirzah Al Rephaim and Julian; who continue to keep me in their thoughts and hearts!! These people have (sometimes forcibly-LOL) held me up and would NOT let me fall and I am forever grateful and truly BLESSED to have such a STRONG force of friends in my corner!! (*holds back the tears and belts out, ‘I LOVE YOU ALL’…in my best acceptance speech voice* LOL)
But I have to mention…I’ve had some devasting news for part of this year! One was losing my second mom, my dear friend, DELORES HOLMES! A powerful vocalist with a smile and spirit that would make even the pessimistic person feel good! Anyone who crossed her path KNEW the goodness she exuded! She began my journey into singing; teaching me the does and don’ts and I will NEVER forget that!! Never forget the many times on my trek to New Jersey; spending the weekend with her and her daughter, my dearest friend, LAYONNE, laughing, laughing and laughing; lots of music ALWAYS being played; singing as we walked down the street in the wee hours of the morning or trying to kill a bat (there’s a story there-LOL). I LOVE YOU DELORES!! I MISS YOU!!
The other: MS. TEENA MARIE! The singer/songwriter/producer/vocal powerhouse, who passed this holiday season! This was a tremendous heartbreak for me! When I heard Teena’s vocals, I knew right then and there that I wanted to sing! When I finally decided to take that chance and chase my dream of singing, I tackled one of Teena’s songs, “YES INDEED” and couldn’t believe the response and accolades I received! I never met her, but thankfully have seen her perform and man, it just HURTS to have lost someone who was so influential in my life! I wish I could have told her! YOU WILL BE MISSED, MS. MARIE! These two women left a significant mark in my life and they will forever be engrained in my heart! (*holding back tears*)
So…I leave you with this…look to the stars and keep love in you heart because you never know when your time is up! Love HARD…Laugh HARD; never let anything break your spirit and stay true to your path! You will be rewarded in the end!!
THANK YOU FOR RIDING “THE STARBRITE EXPRESS!” Please be safe and continue to prosper in the New Year, my lovelies!! I will see you in the ‘11! Oh and DEUCES 2010…get your sorry ass outta here! SMOOCHES